A Hand to Hold

Have you ever felt like you want to give up and be in a far place so you could escape everything and everyone? I just have the same feeling.  It feels like giving up is easier than fighting. It feels like hiding is the best escape to the problem. But we both know, it doesn't help at all.

This is the season of my life where I could feel the pressure underneath. I had a hard time sleeping at night peacefully. I fell asleep crying. I cried mercy and favor to God. I’m asking God to take me away from this situation. But I was rebuked by the thoughts that I have. Didn't Jesus tell us to take heart? He has overcome the world. Didn't the Lord promise that He will never leave us not forsake us? Didn't the Lord plan to prosper us and not to harm us? How could we feel so powerless and hopeless? I appreciate how Apostle Paul answered this. (As if He’s talking to me when he said it.) We felt like we were doomed to die and saw how powerless we were to help ourselves, but that was good, for then we put everything into the hands of God, who alone could save us. (2 Corinthians 1:9 LB)

This painful season is also the season where I depend of God and not on anything else.

When nobody cares, I know God does.  (1 Peter 5:17)

Cry Unto God


But when they cried out for the Lord, He raised for them a deliverer. 
            Judges 3:9

Disobedient. One of the characters that describe Israelites. They love God so much yet after a little while they forgot God and return to their evil ways. They are in the cycle of believing in God, obeying Him, Doing evil things in the eyes of the Lord, Defeated by the enemies, Cried out to God, God answered, They experienced victory. And most of the time, we're like them. Its easy for us to forget what God has done for us, and do things for ourselves. But the God news, God, is a merciful and loving God. Hears our cries. He answers us and continue to love us unconditionally.

We couldn't have waited for defeat to cry unto God. Let's call His Name and Worship His Holiness everytime. Check  martin d-28

Use me Oh Lord of Mercy to show your great compassion to your people. As you are slow to anger, help me Lord to become like you, loving, patient, understanding. Use me so I can glorify your sweet name. Thank you Jesus for your unending love. In Jesus Name! Amen

Read: Judges 1 - 2


It's Prayer and Fasting again, as I remind myself to write for my faithgoals for 2015 before the year ends, I was amazed on how God moved, answered, and blessed my prayers for 2014. There were blessing that wasn't part of my faithgoals for 2014 and Im thankful for all those things.

For this year, I have summarized my faithgoals in three things: 
  1. To know God more and to dwell to his presence
  2. To spend more time in my family and bless them
  3. To  grow as a person in areas on my finances, career, spirituality, and character. 

With other faithgoals, I leave it to God. 

Mentors for 2014

I would like to imitate these people. They've influenced to become the person I am this 2014. 

Summary and Highlight of 2014

January   - Started the year right with Prayer and Fasting. It’s the month when I had my first client and handled training alone.

It’s also the month when I experienced staying with my uncle whom I just met after the death of my dad, his wife treated me well until one day, I felt like I’m not welcome anymore so I decided not stay with them .
February  - My birth month.  It’s the first year in my life where mom didn't cook anything on my birthday.  But it’s still a happy birthday for me. I had the chance to become the speaker in one of our youth’s activities in the Church. It’s the best gift ever.
And I was surprised by my sisters in Christ on that night .
This month, we had a valentines date on a fancy restaurant.

March  - Heart Breaking Month. One of my mentors in the office had her last day. I just wished she stayed, but I know she’s happy wherever she is now. And on this month, I experienced being  the master of the ceremony on our company’s Jumpstart Event.

April – The Vigan Tour was the first travel experience for the year.  That was unforgettable.

May – Annual Youth Camp for our Church with the Theme “greater”.

 Greater on the event venue; Batangas. Greater on the transportation; Air Conditioned Bus. Greater on the challenges we faced even before and after the event. This Month was a test of faith, friendship, fellowship, and  all the year round, it continues to be a “greater” encounter, trials, faith as it is.
June – I had my project signed on go Live Phase. I thank the Lord for that. It wasn’t a stressful project.  From being a cell group leader, I was moved to lead the singles in the Church.
July – I thought it would be a “so so” month because I was just staying in the office while all my officemates were on the field work, But to my surprise, It’s the month where I had my first plane flight. I was assigned in Gensan and experienced travelling alone in far place.

August – I was still staying in Mindanao for the first week of this month. I met and be friends with some of VCF’s Law students. Travel in Davao and explore the City.

September –  This month  I decided to stop the communication with an old lover. Our relationship was over for almost a year yet I continue to see and talk to him. It  was you know, the wisest decision I’ve ever made this year so far. 
October – After  a long time, I finally have a project again. And that project is not an easy project. I also have a hard time communicating with other people. But I keep fighting. I also had a chance to meet my siblings in my father side. It's my dad's death anniversary. How time flies.

November - The hard time became hardest on my work as well as my relationship around me. But I kept believing that God is the God who comforts me all the time.
December - The busiest month of the year. The reunion is everywhere. I was elected as the treasurer in our Alumni

There are a lot of things I am thankful about this year. Including travelling in places I've never thought I would ever be. 

Too sweet to be true

With all eyes close, we pray together! My friends and I are die hard fan of travelling. I once told them that I'm praying to travel in Paris. And so they were. I couldn't hide my excitement for that dream. 

We met last night to have our fellowship and  I told them that I might go in Paris one of these day. Might. They were excited as I was. But I was kidding. But we should not be mad,, we can still experience Paris through Cadbury Dairy Milk. Cadbury Dairy Milk is the smooth and creamy chocolate that can give us sweet ending. There are two new Cadbury Dairy Milk flavors to enjoy: French Vanilla and Chocolate Mousse. 

We love chocolates as much as we love each other. We're on #TeamChocolateMousse. Just because. Our friendship is like a chocolate mousse, it is forever sweet.  

No one can fake it

I know nothing can comprehend from the faith I have from the very beginning. To believe the existence of God even I cant see him. To hold on to my hope even when everything seems so hopeless. To love, to never run out of love because my God, the source of all love, never fails to sustain me.

If grace is an ocean, we are all sinking. Faith doesn't work that way. Grace is given. Faith on the other way, we strive for it. Must see the american strat to know it all.

Out of the blue

The adversity reveals your character. It is revealed on how you will respond when someone criticizes you. It is revealed when someone offends you. When someone does wrong with you. You are not you when you're angry. You can say things you didnt mean. So you better watch your word. Or better get selection dept56 here.

Things I'm thankful for about my job

It's been a year since I left the accounting industry and tried what's consultancy services could offer. And as I reminisce the past year, I listed down what makes me grateful about the career I chose: 
Taken during my first day in APPTech, Oct22013
1. Field work - when I s tarted working in 2011, I know in my heart I'm not the 8-hr office girl type. I got bored staying in one place. Its an answered prayer for me to have a job where I was able to travel while working and be with the places I've never 

2. Meeting New People - Or should I say meeting big time business professionals. Because of my 

 job, I met a lot of people who were not just an ordinary employees of the company but the owner
 itself or someone equivalent. Some of them become my mentors and so I can 
dial their number if I need help and vice versa.
3. Decision Making - I am overwhelmed every time the manager, or any officers of our 
clients ask my opinion or resolution over the the issues they've encountered. It feels 
like my decisions are relevant to them and that’s wow.  
4. Cool Colleagues - I need to be honest that one of the major reasons why I love where I am now is 

that, I am surrounded with people who push me to become better than I was
yesterday. Our dev team who taught me to become detailed in discussing an issue. Our  very own service team help me a lot in the implementation. And I am glad that green  jokes are not part of the any conversations in our office. That’s rare.  
5. Continues Learning - Above all things, this is why am happy and contented with  where I am. I can still recall my interview day when I was asked why I want to be part  of the company. The very first I said was “I want to learn more”. My work isn't routinary. It challenged me everyday. As I meet new people in different places, I was
able to learn from them. I know that they are bigger, smarter, richer than I am. But I am truly inspired by how John Maxwell discuss the importance of people ahead of me  “The best place to learn is where others are ahead of you”  

 If something needs to be done, do it right as you would if the Lord we're standing by your side. If you don't have time to do it right the first time., how will you have time to redo it?-Dr. Lucio Tan 

To God be the Glory!! 

And I'm dealing with

Its really hard for me to admit what I'm dealing with myself right now. While being prideful and selfish is easy to acknowledge, I'm having a hard time admitting that I am insecure. 

I seldom talked to God for the past days, acting like a rebellious daughter and being so 
jealous about everyone around me. I knew myself very well that I always see the brighter 
side of all things. But with what's happening now, I'm almost freaked out because I am left behind.

Left behind. I guess that what's make  me feel insecure. Its when the world turns so fast and I was there at the bottom. Its when everyone is becoming busy and I'm just waiting for them to pick me up so I can fit in. Its when I can't catch up things because everyone is in the top. 

I know that these things were just lies created inside my mind. Some might sound true. 
Some are pure lies.  And it becomes  bigger than what actually it was until I woke up being 
consumed by it. Wrong move. But no matter how I defined it as big as I thought it was, I  know one thing is sure. My God, who created the heaven and earth, is much 
bigger than all my insecurities combined.

I am known for being optimistic. People around me  admire me for being positive at all time. Little did they know, I am swallowed by my negativity most of the time. But I keep what's 
written in Philippians 4:17 in my heart "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, what ever is lovely if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about such thing". 
Thinking I'm left behind is just a lie. God, who said He Has a great plan for me, plans to 
prosper me and not to harm me is a faithful God. Who is always true to all His promises. 
And I believe, where I am today is still part of his plan for me. Whether I'm least or I'm on 
number one.  

This is what I'm dealing with myself now. And dealing with my insecurities isn't an over night process. I could feel secured today and might feel be insecure again tomorrow. But it makes me glad that I'm not doing this alone because God is at work changing me glory to glory. 

And there comes grace.